A Night Gone Bad
by Fanfiction Love 2006
Summary: A one-shot combination of thoughts, letters, and reviews from my 'Dear Twilight,' fic. Hope you enjoy this crazy piece of... well, it's something alright.


I wrote this in like... thirty minutes after reading over some reviews and chapters from my 'Dear Twilight' story and the idea sprang to life in my head. It might suck and make absolutely no sence but that's the point since I tried to throw a lot of things together- tings being reviews and comments from readers. Then again, it's fanfiction. Since when was that supposed to make any sense?

**CHALLENGE:** Can _you_ spot the review/letter connections? O_O

Review to show your love! ~*Heart*~

Oh, and flamers? Bugger off before I shoot a sexually crazy Voldemort and an innocent but oh so willing Harry Potter lemon at you!

You have been warned.

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><p>410/11 (2011年04月10日)

_'It was a dream... it had to be.' _There was a fuzzy haze surrounding the picture, yet it did not inhibit any ability to see everything crystal clearly. _'That's odd. Wait... why's that odd?' _There was a pause in the wave of thoughts. '_Who am I? What... What is this?'_

Something about the situation had the person- was it a person?- acting serenely even though they felt as if they should be panicking. _'Why is everything so calm?' _Looking around, the person realized that there was darkness around them with little light signing through the canopy above. Trees towered over the person's view, obscuring the exact height of the vegetation around them.

It was in the silence of the woods that the person was able to make out the slightest outline against the contrast of black and dark green.

"Hello?" What, when had the voice developed? Did he even have a mouth? "Are you okay?" Oh. So he was a guy. That was good to know. But where was he?

A figure didn't turn. The person, a boy he supposed, found himself drawn closer to the figure a few hundred yards from him. His steps were silent even as they hit the twig and dry leaf infested landscape underfoot. It took only moments to reach the figure only a yard or so distance between them.

"Do you need help?" He had noticed by now that the figure was a person based on the cloths and posture, but he had yet to see the face of the person as his back stood in direct view to him.

The figure was silent.

"Do you have a name?" The boy didn't know why he was curious, but he felt he should help the person and the best way to do that was to get them to talk.

The figure shifted slightly as if becoming aware of his presence, but not frightened or shocked. It took a moment, but the body slowly turned to face him, deathly quiet.

Upon seeing the figure, the boy gasped._'Oh my god... It's a _**fairy**_!'_

The figure that stood before him which looked vaguely familiar to his blurry mind was sparkling slightly and his skin stood out as deathly pale. _'Oh no... __his fairy had an iron deficiency!'_ "Oh, you poor fairy." His voice was filled with pity.

The figure before him finally came to live, slowly animating itself. The face turned into a confused scowl. "I'm not a fairy. I'm a vampire."

The voice was... velvety. _'Wait, velvety? Who the hell used that kind of word to describe a voice of a person?' _The boy mentally shook his head in amusement at his own momentary stupidity. Suddenly, what his fairy said to him caught up with his mind. Suddenly he snickered. It wasn't long before he was overcome with a booming laughter. Between gasps for air, he was able to say, "S-silly fairy! Vampires don't sparkle!" He fell to his knees- oh, he had knees now?- chuckling too hard to keep himself standing.

The face frowned, obviously annoyed. "Yes they do. We all do."

The boy snorted and finally gained control of himself. "Right, right." His tone implied that he was only humoring the fairy. "Who is we?"

The fairy's lips pursed, clearly not happy with his assumptions. Still, he answered. "My coven. My sister Alice Cullen, her husband Jasper, my wife Bella, her father Charlie, our daughter Renesme, and the mutt Jacob Black. A while back we had decided to make a family and split from my older coven, taking Bella's father with us."

The boy had stopped listening to the harsh voice after he said 'Black.' _'Why do those names sound familiar?' _he wondered briefly before thoughts- _'Memories?'_- made themselves known. He gasped again upon realizing the implications of his fairy's words.

_'Oh my god!'_ The words spilled from his lips even as the thoughts formed in his head. "Holy fucking shit batman! Alice cheated on Frank? And remarried! How could she do that to poor Neville? Wait... she's insane..." The boy's head snapped up and his eyes narrowed on the figure. "You cruel sick bastard! You Imperioed-" what the fuck in that? "-Alice Longbottom! What the hell kind of fairy are you? Then again, if you married Bellatrix... only a truly fucked up man would ever marry her, let alone call her a puppy name." He felt his body shudder in revolution. "Wait... Charlie Weasley's Bellatrix's dad?" The boy's eyebrows drew together, extremely sick and confused with that particular train of thought. "Ew! How's that even possible?"

Suddenly the form of the boy smacked his own forehead and gave a 'Duh!' sound. "Purebloods! There's plenty of inbreeding there to actually have that as a possibility... But wait... isn't she old enough to be his mother? Gross! Mental images I didn't need on inbreeding and those two."

The boy felt himself gag but grew immediately quiet as another thought struck him. "Hang on a tick, did you say Black? As in Sirius?"

The figure was frowning deeply. "I haven't the slightest clue what anything you just said was. You must be confused. And yes, I'm serious."

It took a moment for that to settle before the boy laughed out loud. "No, silly fairy!"

"I'm not a fucking fairy!" The person snapped only to be completely ignored.

"Sirius as in Sirius Black, my Godfather. That must mean-" He gasped. "That means I have family! I wonder how he's related... if he's like a cousin... then he's a cousin of Bellatrix... who's the daughter of Charlie... who's like a step dad to Alice." He gaped like an idiot as he stared transfixed at the vampire/fairy before him. "That mean's we're related!"

The boy's smile was overly joyous which caused the fairy to scowl and ground out,"I doubt it," cutting of the childish, 'Does that mean I'm part fairy too?' "Who are you anyway?"

"Me? I'm-..." _'Huh... good question... who am I?'_ The boy's face furrowed in confusion as he forced himself to remember memories he didn't remember having. Like a jolt of lightening, the boy's history resurfaced and he looked around suddenly, confused. Meeting the eyes of the fairy in front of him, the boy's jaw went slack.

"Cedric? What are you doing here? You're dead."

A growl escaped his fairy's- opps... _**Cedric's-**_ lips. "I already told you that I think you have me mistaken, as well as my family. I'm not this Cedric. My name is Edward."

The boy continued to stare as if he'd seen a ghost. "Merlin's balls," the boy whispered when he finally got control of himself. "You're sparkling Cedric."

'Edward' snapped. "I am not this Cedric!" He fell to a crouch, ready to do something.

"Wow... Sparkly Cedric, I didn't know you were a fairy! And to marry Bellatrix... well, I don't know what made you so mental in the first place, but I guess being dead changed things, right?"

Through a slow motion, the boy watched Sparkly Cedric lunge from his spot directly towards him. Before he could make the entire distance though, the haze left him and everything went dark.

~0~

Harry Potter, Savior of the Wizarding World, shot up from his bed, breath labored as he clutched his sheets for dear life. Eyes shooting around frantically, he took in his environment and let out a relieved sigh. He was in Gryffendor Tower, his best mate snoring loudly beside him whose deep sleep was only interrupted with the occasional, "Spiders! Erm... No! I don't... No... No... NO! I DON'T WANT TO DANCE!" before he turned over and began to snore once more.

The boy's mind relaxed as he collapsed onto his bed. "What a nightmare."

Eyes wide with fright, Harry stared out into space, heavily disturbed. Even he knew that Lord Voldemort would never have sent him something _**that**_ bad. Wincing, Harry was determined to burn the abomination 'Twilight' before class. It wouldn't do to have another bad night's sleep two times in a row when his first period class was Potions.

Another shudder. Professor Snape... now _**that**_ was scary.

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><p>Thanks for reading! This is dedicated to EVERYONE who had given me support in my Dear Twilight fanfic. Here's my crazed and nonsense love! *Gives it out in huge waves*<p> 


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